MysterioMuse

You are not the main character in everyone’s life.

You can be the main character of your own life, but not of others.

This is one of the hardest lessons I have ever learned – and I learned it the hard way.

Being the younger sibling, I was pampered and deeply loved throughout my childhood. Everyone in my neighbourhood was older than me, which meant I received unlimited attention, affection, and care. Growing up in a small city in India, I was always surrounded by people. I was a happy child who got along with everyone. As I grew older, I had strong relationships with my cousins, family, friends, and neighbours. These connections gave me a deep sense of security, and I never felt any emotional void.

Fast forward many years later – I decided to move to Canada for my undergraduate degree. It was my first time living away from home, in a completely different country, culture, language, and food environment. I was overwhelmed and even considered going back, but I stayed.

As classes began, I met new people and made friends from different backgrounds. A few months later, I started working part-time and formed friendships at work as well. Everything was going well – until it wasn’t.

As I started settling in and enjoying this new phase of life, I also began feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Self-doubt slowly crept in. When I made friends, I assumed they would be just like the relationships I had back home – deep, meaningful, and lasting. I went all in emotionally.

Over time, I realized it wasn’t the same. People were around as long as they needed something from you. One by one, that realization hit me hard.

I began questioning myself constantly. Am I a bad person? Do I not get along with people? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not doing enough? I went down a very negative mental path, feeling stressed and deeply disappointed in myself.

This started affecting my studies, my mood, and my overall behaviour. I struggled to fall asleep, replaying people’s actions and reactions in my head. Growing up in a secure environment where you’re always surrounded by family and familiar faces, these experiences can take a serious toll on your mental health.

No one prepares you for this phase. You’re suddenly trying to manage studies, work, relationships, and emotional turmoil all at once. You feel lost, you overthink, and you get trapped in your own mind. This cycle continued for quite some time – until one day I realized I had to stop and make changes.

I started journaling every day, writing down everything that was on my mind. Whenever I felt lost, stressed, or overwhelmed, I wrote. I documented every event and every emotion. This practice helped me clear my thoughts and find healthier ways to cope.

I also began reading self-help and self-development books, practicing hot yoga, running, and listening to podcasts on personal growth. Slowly, things started to shift. I became more aware of my patterns, reduced my social circle, and focused my energy on positive growth. I eventually graduated successfully.

After graduating, I thought life was finally set. I believed getting a full-time job and earning money would solve everything. I thought all these emotional struggles would disappear.

Well – that wasn’t true.

As we grow up, we often forget that our friends are growing too. They get busy with their own lives, careers, families, and challenges. That’s when you start feeling neglected, without fully understanding the shift in dynamics.

It’s hard to accept that as you grow, others around you grow as well – and they won’t always be as available as you expect. It took me years to accept this reality of transitioning from teenage years into adulthood.

I used to take everything personally. It would drive me crazy if someone didn’t reply immediately, didn’t answer a call, or wasn’t available when I needed them. I would get angry and hold on to those feelings.

One day, while scrolling through YouTube, I came across a short video where someone said:

“The biggest lesson a young person has to learn in their twenties is that you are not the main character in everybody’s story. You’re the main character in your own, but you’re a secondary character in others.”

That thought stayed with me.

I realized I had been expecting people to behave exactly the way I wanted them to. I couldn’t accept that others could react differently – at any moment, for reasons that had nothing to do with me. Once I truly understood this, it changed my life.

I also learned that some people come into your life for a season, some for a reason, and some to stay forever. We can’t control everything around us – and we shouldn’t try to.

These realizations helped me let go of people and negative emotions much more easily. When I noticed a shift in someone’s behaviour, I learned to create distance without resentment. This brought an incredible sense of peace into my life.

Another important lesson was learning not to become rude or bitter. Instead, I chose acceptance and forward movement.

To this day, when someone reacts differently toward me, I adjust accordingly. I don’t take things personally, and I respond with more kindness. This mindset has helped me both personally and professionally.

Once you understand this truth, letting go becomes easier. Life feels lighter, calmer, and more balanced. These difficult phases are part of the journey – they shape you and help you grow.

I’m sharing this piece of my life in the hope that it helps someone else navigate this phase more gently. I learned so much from books, podcasts, and shared experiences during that time, and each one played a role in my growth.

If this story can make a difference in even one person’s life, it would mean a lot to me.

I wish more people could learn these lessons earlier – so they can protect their mental space, grow positively, and live more fully. After all, we have one precious life, and it shouldn’t be spent worrying endlessly about things beyond our control.